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I was just looking over my previous entry
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Sunday, 09 May 2004
 I was just looking over my previous entry when it occured to me that I had hardly accomplished all that I wanted to in it and I thought to myself, my God, is that just a metonym for my life and then I thought, my God, how pretentious that was: it's certain that it was a metonym because pretention equals unaccomplishment.I think it's pathetic that I have to compete with myself, even myself only a few moments old, even to this day, like I compete with others internally and mentally. For instance, I live in an apartment complex and the guy who lives next to me is fat and ugly, but the other day I saw him get his mail and look elated at having receieved something. I knew that something really great was happening to him; something that will never happen to me, the previous paragraph a case in point. I then pretended to receive a large check in the mail and exlaimed, "This is the best week in my life" in a boyish, nasally, and painfully high-pitched voice. I then entered my apartment, forcing myself not to give into temptation and look over at the hairy chested man--thus giving away my internal dialogue--but I managed one glimpse in which his beautiful wife beckoned him in.
I just want to kill myself sometimes. No, all the time. Only registered users can write comments.
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Mickey Jefferson - Eatin' Donuts and the Like 
