Friday, 16 July 2004
 It was late at night last night, the latest ever, when I was contemplating my existence. I was able to dilute my fears of self-awareness, failure, and waning libido, and I became a pure being whose only thought was that of existence (Descartes refers to this spiritual plane; he got to it by playing with a piece of wax, I got to it by spraying Off! into my gas stove). However, I also inadvertantly dissolved the foundation of my existence, because those self-aware considerations were the very things that constituted my survival. What an ambiguous--actually, ambivalent--state to be in. I've tried summarizing it into a small easy-to-download graphic, but I wasn't too successful. About the best I could do was this on the right. It was growing outside of my apartment, and I noticed its beckoning flacidity after another encounter with my sexually fulfilled neighbor. I think he might be moving out though... harkening to that other side, the non-existence.
Maybe, I thought, playing the viola de gamba would shed some light on this passively confounding matter. Well, to no avail. I just kept playing do-me-fa-do and brooding how those notes at once exist, vibrating eternally into the universe, but are too insignificant to really exist. After all, if I'm the only one hearning them, and I possibly don't exist, then they, too, probably don't, either. The logicalness of it all is upseting.
I'm gonna go cry now. Maybe a trip to Barnes & Noble can cheer me up--you know, buy a book or something, or donate some plasma. But who am I kidding? It won't.
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Oh god
Written by Guest on 2004-07-20 17:25:47
I've thrust the basket containing all my rotten eggs into the harsh light of our heightened self-awareness.
| Written by Guest on 2004-07-20 17:30:30
...and what will come of it? | Written by Guest on 2004-07-20 17:31:47
...and what will come of it? |
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Mickey Jefferson - Eatin' Donuts and the Like 
