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Saturday, 19 May 2012 | Home
Apple Advertisements Anathematize Unanchored Customers   Print  E-mail
Thursday, 11 November 2004
Riding on the heels of its culture-icon iPod, Apple has taken an unequivocal move towards advertising that is louder, more exciting, and totally in-your-face. Their latest line of advertisements feature members of the band U2 in silhouette against colorful backgrounds flicking off would-be customers and telling them that if they don’t have an iPod, “Fuck you, Fuck you.”

iPod customer response has been believably neutral since the advertisements don’t target them directly. However, general consensus among current owners indicates a tepid approval of the advertisements. John Deerhead, a student at the University of Southern California and proud iPod owner, told reporters, “At first I thought it was a bit brash. But now that I think about it, I honestly have to agree. Who are they to think that they can live life without an iPod. Really. Fuck them.”

Betty Brooks disagrees, however. She has devoted her love instead to a Dell Jukebox, and faults Apple for alienating customers before they even enter a store. “Who wants to go to Best Buy and have at its entrance a billboard saying ‘Fuck you’ directly at you? Do you know how embarrassing that is?” Betty recalls the cruel smirks of iPod owning customers around her. “They knew it was me that the billboard was directed at. God damn you iPod, I mean, Apple.” Ms. Brooks then admitted that perhaps she would buy an iPod after all, because, she says, “Social deviance is not the new pink.”

Since the advertisements’ release, Apple has enjoyed tremendous turn-out, though not without some concerns. For instance, during the the few days following the ads’ debut, iPod sales plummeted, but then surged to new heights as the repetition of “Fuck you, Fuck you,” so permeated mass culture that changed from annoying slogan to undeniable fact. After all, no one wants to be personally insulted—and publicly humiliated—by Mick Jagger. And his non-chalance about it, too. You're so below him, he won't even deign to look at you as he destroys your life.

But perhaps all this success is temporary. Apple has merely been boldened by the rampant success of its MP3 player to the point of extreme hubris, not unlike Odysseus, the ill-fated hero of Homer’s book. But where Odysseus suffered terrible strife and tribulation, Apple can only anticipate more purchases, more cultural status, just more, more, more. It will never end. The glory days of Apple are just beginning my friends, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Just join them, goddamnit. Don’t believe me? Fuck you.

Fuck

you.

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