Friday, 20 February 2004
 The FDA recently announced that they will revoke an approval they made last month for Herbal Essences™ shampoo line containing the herbal supplement St. John’s Wort. Food and Drug authorities attribute the repeal to false advertising, but analysts wonder if the retraction reflects regret on a recent slew of approvals they gave last month.
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Above: Now with St. John's Wort! |
Trisha Goldber, a representative for the FDA, commented to reporters, “When we originally approved of the shampoo, we knew that it could open a Pandora’s box. Many companies forget that St. John’s Wort is a mood enhancer, not an anti-depressant. When Clairol® starting airing ads that depicted the shampoo as a free-for-all potent source of joy, we regretted just doling out approvals like that.”
Clairol®, the maker of Herbal Essences™ shampoos declined to comment. However, one of their publicists who recently left the company provided reporters with interesting details. “You have to understand that shampoo companies like Clairol® always have to beat the competition, even if it involves fudging the facts. Now that all shampoos contain every vitamin, mineral, and anit-oxidant under the sun to nourish dead hair cells, they are under a lot of pressure. Clairol® just had to take the next step.”
One ad features a sterile psychiatric ward, wherein one patient “mistakenly” takes a bottle of the new shampoo and lathers it into her hair at a drinking fountain, resulting in an orgasmic explosion of joy. A voice over explains: “Try new Clairol® Herbal Essences™, now with St. John’s Wort. Its patented blend of herbal supplements is directly absorbed through your scalp for a multiple organic experience.”
Since the announcement, stocks in Clairol® have plummeted by 15%. Brokers hope that after the shockwave resides, the company will pick up profits. Sam Davis from Merill Lynch notes, “Companies like Clairol® are resistant. You just know that next month they’ll come out with a rejuvenating hair elixir created from the bowels of chinchillas and enriched with b-vitamins that will wow customers again.”
Still, there remains a lot of criticism against the FDA for giving out the approval in the first place. When asked, all that authorities could muster up was, “Were we duped? Yeah, we were duped.”
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Like I've been saying
Written by Guest on 2004-03-28 19:33:37
AFAIK (also, IANAL) I don't think the FDA needs to approve herbal supplements (or supps, like my ephedra taking buddies call it)
I'm getting fat without this Ephedra, or work
Sad Sack Lazenby | I forgot something
Written by Guest on 2004-04-01 01:58:49
They don't call it taking, they call it dosing
sorry |
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