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Why doesn't anyone believe me anymore?
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Thursday, 11 March 2004
Why doesn't anyone believe me anymore when I tell them they're special and that I'm going to lift them up when I'm president of the United States? It seems that just because I've lost the primaries they're turning again toward the politics of cynicism and fear and away from my uplifting message for America. For instance, the plumber came in today and told me it would cost $500 to unclog the pipes. So I told him this: I said, "Randy, you've got to be kidding me. There are kids out there who would kill for $500. It's because we live in two Americas: one for the privileged, you and I, and one for those kids out there in the sticks with no place to call their own but some double trailer with a propane tank in the back. Now don't you tell me that my poop is so thick that some good old Drano can't dissolve it." He only gave me a weird look. But you know what? He was right. It turns out that Drano just isn't gonna do the trick.
Anyway, I surprised the wife today with a new wedding ring I made out of twine I bought at the hardware store when I was looking for Drano. Upon seeing it, she gave me a kiss and then we bedded down. It was just like the good old days. The kids were pounding on the door telling me that they had to go to the bathroom, but I told them to do their business outside, just like they have to in the other of our two Americas.Only registered users can write comments.
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