(From the John Edwards Campaign Blog Files)

Outside of our beautiful home, there is a tree that has been shedding delightful bits of cottony material all over our yard.  In excitement, I collected a bunch of it and took out the seeds, making a cottony ball of happy fluff.

I felt just like the slaves on plantations.  Now I know why they always looked so happy in those photos.  That cottony ball has dramatically improved the quality of my life!  I love looking at it, petting it, and giving it sweet, gentle kisses.

But then things all changed.  My wife was starting to worry about me because it turned out I was allergic to the cottony material.  My eyes grew puffy, my throat sore, and my ankles swollen.  I also grew, about half-an-inch.  She convinced me to throw the cottony stuff away and devote my attention to a ball of real cotton.  But I couldn't love the real cotton; it just wasn't the cottony stuff to which I had given my first love.

I very much regret throwing away that cottony stuff.  It has destroyed my spirit these last two weeks, and has since rendered me terribly constipated.  So preoccupied with my problems, I haven't even cared that I'm no longer on TV.  I just miss you so much!

Comments

Cotton Has Been Ruining My Life Written by Guest on 2004-03-31 10:49:58 This story is stupid

The touch, the feel... Written by Guest on 2004-03-31 15:37:00 I understand your preoccupation with cotton, Mr. Edwards. And I, too, empathize with those slaves. Man, it'd be so cool to be a slave!

oh please! Written by chessa128 on 2004-04-02 19:37:01 Real cotton, which the slaves would have handled, would not have been pleasant at all!!!! Rough, scratchy, full of seeds from the boll of the plant!!!! yeah, these slaves look real happy:     http://us.history.wisc.edu/hist102/photos/html/1172.html

Written by Guest on 2004-09-11 00:45:31 slave were happy when they were slaves, right mr edwards. pro-slavery all the way

Written by Guest on 2004-09-11 00:46:20 33333

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